Eighth Grade Parent and Guardian Evening Conversation Recap

 

The conversation began with an exploration of Christine Carter, PhD's framework of teenagers' five developmental needs—freedom, privacy, responsibility, peer connections, and autonomy. These interlinked needs form the backbone of effective parenting and healthy teen development. The discussion underscored the pivotal role of adults in nurturing teenagers' needs, primarily through providing ample choices, such as involving them in setting phone use boundaries to foster a sense of responsibility and autonomy.

 

Empower yourself with this short video of Christine Carter, PhD, who discusses ways to promote kindness in kids.

 

Next on the agenda was a conversation about the essential role of parents in building resiliency in teens, referencing author and activist Julie Lithcott-Haims's two books, How to Raise an Adult and Your Turn. Lithcott-Haims, a past Parent University speaker, often notes the Harvard Grant Study, which found that most professionally successful people had part-time jobs or chores growing up. The adulting process and getting into college isn't just about grades, test scores, and achievements. We want kids to know how to write an email, talk to someone they don't know, advocate for themselves in all settings -- and do these things respectfully. Lithcott-Haims adds that children must learn the vital life skill of pitching in and anticipating how to be of greater use rather than waiting for someone to meet their needs or tell them what to do. Being held accountable builds the developmental need for increasing responsibility, helps kids feel valued, and gives them a sense of belonging.

 

Finally, the evening turned to a controversial new parenting approach called intensive parenting, which was highlighted in a recent podcast episode of the The Daily. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy has issued a warning that parents' stress is an "urgent public health issue." Drawing on data from the American Psychological Association, Vivek published a thirty six page report titled Parents Under Pressure, stating that two-fifths of parents say they are so stressed they cannot function most days. Parents face more stress today than at any other time in recent history. Intensive parenting, while well-intentioned, can have negative consequences for both parents and children. It's necessary for parents to be aware of these potential pitfalls and to consider alternative, less stressful approaches to parenting.

 

Please take some time to look through the U.S. Surgeon General's advisory and contact Middle School Counselor Gayle Gingold, LMFT with questions or concerns.